Hey you all.
I told you some time ago that I wanna write something about the connection between me and my best friend Robyn (20 years old). It's definitely something very special, and many people don't understand it, but we don't care.
Robyn isn't my friend, he isn't my brother, he's my soulmate. "Soulmate"........Yeah, people usually use this word for someone they really like, but it's much more than that. It's like two people are the same soul, but live in two different bodies. Yes, most people don't believe in such things, which I understand. At first I wouldn't believe it, too. But since I've met him I know soulmates really DO exist. Call it esoterism shit or whatever, but it's true.
We met some years ago amongst hundreds of people, and we got a strange feeling immediately. We felt like we had known each other for thousands of years. I looked at him and I saw myself, I saw inside him, he felt the same way. But it wasn't love or love at first sight, definitely not. It was like.....We finally felt complete. We were like "There's my other half.".
When we had started talking to each other we noticed that there were INSANELY many similarities between us. I'm gonna tell you the story a little later on, but first I wanna tell you all the similarities:
-We are both adoptees. He doesn't know his biological mom (she's dead) and I don't know my biological dad (but he's not dead).
-Our faces look alike. People always ask if we're siblings.
-We've got EXACTLY the same birthmarks and the same little gap between our front teeth.
-We say and do the same things at the same time very, very often.
-We had very similar issues in the past.....
-We're both highly sensitive and highly gifted
-We're both passionate musicians and artists. We both sing and take photos. He even plays the guitar and is a tattoo artist (but he gave up the job some days ago), which makes him very good at drawing.
-We've totally got the same interests, except for very few little things.
-Our motion sequences are very alike.
-We've got a similar way of talking and writing
-We dream similar things very often.
-We've got the same opinions.
Now the things people always find very strange and can't believe:
-We feel what the other one is feeling, no matter how far from each other we are. Even when he had lived in Romania (where he is from) we shared ALL feelings and knew what was going on with the other one immediately.
-We can kinda read each other's minds. We don't need to talk to each other all the time to know what the other one is thinking/feeling or what they wanna say.
-We almost always catch the same diseases. Like, I'm having gastro-enteritis right now and he has it, too. Often one of us had woken up in the morning having a cold and the other one had it, too. We even were overwhelmed by depression at the same time very often.
And so much more, I can't even list everything.......To most people this sounds like a deep friendship and nothing more, but it IS more......I don't really know how to describe it, that's difficult......People who aren't in this situation can't understand this.......It's a friendship, but it's MUCH, much deeper, but it's much different than love.....Like I said, it's difficult to desribe.....We ARE the SAME person in two different bodies.
People always ask if.....Well, if we're a couple. NO, we're not. We never were and never will be.We're way too alike for being a couple......Yes, being alike as a couple is great, but would you like to be in love and have sex with..........Kinda yourself????
People think I love him more than my Babycupcake. NO, I don't. I love them equally, but in totally different ways.
Do Robyn and me cuddle? Yes, we do. Often, and my Babycupcake accepts it since he knows that we DON'T do this because we are into each other, but because we love and need each other in a DIFFERENT way. His girlfriend used to accept it, too, but now he's been single for a few days.....(For other reasons).
But Babycupcake and Robyn also love each other.
They're best friends, so there's no bad blood.
Do Robyn and me have sex or make out? No. And we never did. That will never happen. We can't imagine things like that. I have HUGE emotional feelings for this guy, I love him more than I love myself, but I don't have any sexual feelings for him at all. And he feels the same way. We're too alike.
Yeah.......Now I can only tell you a few stories.
Here I go, First the one that still touches me the most:
-When I had been in the most terrible situation of my life he was the ONLY person who was there for me. I'm endlessly thankful, since without him I wouldn't be here anymore. He really kept me from killing myself. He said "Hey, at least keep going for me.......". He was with me 24 hours a day. He nearly gave up everything just to help me. He made me something to eat, he made me going outside again, well.....He cared about me like I was a little child.
This guy and his way of caring for me made me stop cutting myself. He even must have felt when I wanted to cut myself, since often he called me right before I did it and talked to me......(That's somehting you didn't know about me, eh? Don't worry, I didn't do it very bad and I've been cutting free for almost three years now.
-He often called me when I started crying (for whatever reason) and asked "Hey, I feel something's wrong. What's going on?" I often did the same when he was in a bad situation.
-When he had found out that his parents lied to him all his life he TOTALLY freaked out, and I was the only one who could calm him down........
-At first he was the only one who suppoerted me on being a freelance artist. He also was the one who made my parents stop yelling at each other all the time, by yelling at them like crazy and telling them that they're gonna destroy me......
-When he had found out that he's an adoptee he didn't want to see his biological dad at all. I made him see his dad, and now they have a great realtionship.
-I was the only one who was there for him when he had a really bad nervous breakdown. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling something's VERY wrong with him. I went to his flat and I was right.......
-A funny one: When his little daughter was born (she'll be two years in April) he was so happy and all (he screamed "LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BABY!!!!" at all the doctors with tears in his eyes...
), but later he just couldn't stop laughing.
He laughed like crazy.
Everyone else thought he was going insane, and I was the only one who laughed with him and could even take all his laughter.
Yup, that was very funny to us.
-Though all the similarities we don't use a similar style of singing. But our vocal coaches made us sing together and it worked great.
Maybe we're gonna end up in one band one day.
(He already has a band).
.........Pheeeeeew, and there are still soooo many more stories.......Phew....Like I said so many times now, I can't really describe it. We are one and the same person. There's no denying. I really hope I could make things clearer now, and I hope I could make some of you see that soulmates DO exist. I'm so happy to know him, and I'm happy that him and my Babycupcake get along so well, and I'm just happy about what a damn strong person and what a great daddy Robyn is. He's still very young, but he's the best dad I've seen so far, really. His little one is so happy, and she's such a sweetheart.
As you know he's in difficult situation right now, I told you a few days ago.....He has to rearrange his life now. He gave up being a tattoo artist and he's single now (after so many years....
).....He has to find a way to fulfill his dreams now, which are being an artist and a rockstar.....And he has to care for his little girl on his own now, since his ex girlfriend has left......Yeah, some of you might think "How the hell will he do that, the poor child!" now, but I can tell you, there's absolutely no need to worry. He's a very strong, brave and smart young man, and he has already made new plans, a few new doors have opened for him. He still will have the time and the money to care for his little one, don't worry. The two are absolutely safe. Really, don't worry. They're gonna make it.
Of course it's very sad, but he has to keep going now......And he will. He already feels better and relieved again. And somehow we feel that his little one is relieved, too......I guess she felt something was wrong with her mom...She's already as sensitive as her dad...Somehow she's happy to be only with her daddy now, that's strange, but that's the way it really is. Really, I'm not joking.
Yeah.......I'm just happy he exists.
I love you, Robyn!
Phew, that's all for now.
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